Beautiful, Cruel World
by leena1445
Summary: Based on the song "Beautiful, Cruel World". The story is a oneshot. Rivetra. Thank you for reading. I made the cover, PM me if you need one.


**Twoshot. Based on "Beautiful, Cruel World" (end theme for AoT). It was really sad when Petra died (ahem spoilers, lot of spoilers). idk abtanythinganymorehelpheaijwerjanfajkwera**

Part one of two

_This is a world where people die at the hands of a giant. This is a world where people suffer from loving another. This is a world where people are born to endless sleep. This is a world where people's nightmares turn real. _

_There is no real trust in this world, where animals do not ever hurt, where birds can fly, where the seas are not known, where the deserts are foreign to the remaining. _

_It is a beautiful world, that world where flowers continue to bloom, that world where people still continue to love, that world where the sky still stands above. _

_Why would such a beautiful place be able to have such cruel sights?_

Levi could not bear to see in a world where all he cared about disappeared from the face of the earth in seconds, either eaten or hurt by a mindless Titan, dead, or left Levi.

His parents were also victim of Death's clutches, so many of his soldiers, so many of his friends...when he thought of them, pain and sadness wrenched inside his gut, twisting and turning and making sure he would be like this for hours. The only time of peace was when cleaning, it was the only thing he found to be not painful. Fighting Titans was good for humans but to face the Titans was a time of sadness too, and in Levi's rages against the Titans, he thought of those eaten or injured by the Titans. Soldiers he barely knew, his parents...

Petra.

They plagued every single speck of his mind, and Levi just wanted it to stop. Sometimes he thought that he should just kill himself to save himself from all the thoughts of death. He could finally see Petra, his mom and dad, his soldiers, probably waiting for him up in the clouds above. Petra hit him the hardest. In his dreams, they appeared again and time again together. Happy. Married. They had kids. There were no Titans. There were no walls from any danger. They could see more of the outside as they wished. They could ENJOY life. They could live with themselves... it was so joyful.

All until he woke up.

Petra. She was so different. From every other soldier. Yes, she was enthusiastic, like many other new soldiers, but she was...happy, unlike them. And he himself. Levi rarely even smiled or showed a bit of kindness. He had learned to shield himself, harden himself so that he wouldn't seem weak. So that he would never learn to love again. So that he wouldn't hurt for another time.

As Levi got to know Petra, he learned that she was very kind and humorous. She always jokingly teased him about his cleanness and him being a neat freak. He cleaned out Petra's whole room once. It was a good time. Peaceful. Petra learned that he might've been insulting much of the time, but he was always kind to those he loved and cared about. One day, he realized that he liked her. As a friend. He had to stop that. He could show no weakness. He couldn't care, because he would just lose her. The feelings didn't ever stop. They just increased, to the point of...love. Levi realized it the moment she was teasing him about cleaning again...it was just breaking him, those thoughts. About them all...

_He had been cleaning his room one day. Petra knocked on the door and Levi invited her in, even though she had mud on her boots. Oh, well. He'd clean it later. He could do that in a matter of minutes, really, that was how fast he could work at stains and tracks. She smiled her glimmering kind smile as always, and Levi was entranced. She was so beautiful with her golden hair and her crystal blue eyes, she was so mesmerizing. Petra finally broke the train of thought by saying, "Hello, sir."_

_"You know you don't have to call me that. Or any titles of any sort...just call me Levi," Levi said. She grinned wide._

_"Okay, si-I mean, Levi," Petra responded._

_"Why did you come over here? You know it's cleaning day," Levi asked._

_"Yes, I know...but...I wanted to say hello. And because I brought some potatoes and bread for you. We just finished lunch and I thought you would be hungry. I just had to interrupt, because you can't fight Titans with an empty stomach!" Petra smiled again._

_She brought food for me? Levi thought, sort of happy. He was never happy. "T-thank you." He stuttered a little._

_"No problem! So do you want to eat now or never?" She jokingly asked._

_"Of course," He politely replied. She set the small basket on the table and got up to leave. As she left to leave, he stared at her and smiled the smallest of smiles, the first one in a long time..._

Thinking of that, Levi cringed. He liked her then. He thought of another memory. It was some time after dinner..._Levi walked down to his (now clean) room. As he was walking down the hallway, Petra yelled for him. "Sir! Wait, I mean Levi!" She ran up to him._

_"Petra?" Levi was confused. What was she doing?_

_"Le-I mean, sir- no, Levi, yeah, um. Just wanted to say hi, and also, you have a bunch of crumbs on your face," Petra started giggling. Levi was alarmed. Agh! Crumbs?! Not now! Not here! "Here, let me." As he frustratingly tried to scrub at his face, Petra took his hand and took a napkin out of her pocket. Wiping away the crumbs on his face, she smiled. "There. That's better!"_

_He nervously laughed. He laughed, which he hadn't done in forever. "Thank you." He put an arm around her waist and smiled. As they stared deeply into each other's eyes, his smile faded away a bit. She reached up tenderly to touch his face._

_"You're welcome, sir-" Levi broke her off, putting his lips against his in a warm kiss. It felt amazing, as it was his first. Fireworks burst off in his head and he thought that Petra was his first true love...Petra softened and put her hand up to his chest. They backed away and Petra smiled._

_"Please, my name is Levi. Remember it," He said. He smiled again and walked away. It must've been the happiest day he'd had in a long time..._

By this time, he started to cry. He loved her so much. The kisses they shared, the love they shared, the care they shared. All gone in a matter of seconds. They disappeared into the clouds. It was going so well. But...

She had to leave and go on that stupid mission, thanks to him! It was his fault. All his fault. His lover was gone because of her. He had a ring! A ring for the next day! Their anniversary of their first kiss, and the Titan had to show up! He was going to marry her, but all went wrong! He couldn't do it. He broke down for the fourth time since her death and slammed his fist onto the table he'd been wiping. "IT WAS MY FAULT." Slumping onto his knees, he recalled the nightmare that caused her death, of the sight that was Annie Leonhardt in Titan form. There was no more love he could share with Petra because of _her_...

_"PETRA!" Levi screamed, looking at the body. "PETRA! NO!" Tears ran down his face uncontrollably, and he couldn't think anymore besides the corpse he was now holding in his arms. "Petra...Petra, I love you! Petra...Petra, say it! Petra, I know you're here! PETRA!" He shook her body so many times. There was no response for many seconds. He was shivering and shaking, her blood all over him, her spine bulging out of her back. _

_"L...L...ove...yo0o-ou..." A voice said under him. _

_"Petra! PETRA! I LOVE YOU!" He screamed again. _

_"A..lw..lway...s..." She couldn't even speak correctly. He took out the ring. _

_"Look! I was going to give this to you tomorrow, but I couldn't...I love you, will you be mine, even if it will be in the afterlife?" His voice was so shaky. _

_"Y-y-ye...s-s..." Tears streamed out of her eyes, down her cheeks. He bent down and kissed her gently. "Lo-l-ove you-ou...s-so m-u-ch..ch..f-fore..ev..er..." _

_He slid the ring on her ring finger. She smiled a dying smile...a glimmering smile of hers, crystal blue eyes staring..."L-lo...ove...y-yo-" Her body fell limp and she was still smiling. He closed her eyes and he was crying so much, he couldn't stop because he loved her so much. _

_He cried out like he was in pain. He cried out like a kid. A child..._

Never again would he see her beautiful golden hair and shimmering smile.

Never.

Never.

Never.

He closed his eyes and tears fell onto the floor, like his dreams shattering like glass onto the broken wood.

* * *

><p><em><strong>There's a dream my heart just can't seem to leave behind<strong>_  
><em><strong>Like a flower holding on for life, inside my mind<strong>_  
><em><strong>Time and again, I push it away from me<strong>_  
><em><strong>But it finds a way back in sleep<strong>_

_**My beating heart drowns my thoughts away**_  
><em><strong>Tearing apart this dreamer's way<strong>_  
><em><strong>But still I know deep inside my soul<strong>_  
><em><strong>That I never can let it go<strong>_

_**How can anybody live in a world that's so cruel and beautiful?**_  
><em><strong>Always asking why we're really here<strong>_  
><em><strong>Losing all of our control to our fears<strong>_  
><em><strong>Some of us are strong, some of us are weak, but still we seek...<strong>_  
><em><strong>For a new day that can offer more<strong>_  
><em><strong>Do we really know the world we're fighting for?<strong>_

_**Up above the grey of the sky reflects my eyes**_  
><em><strong>All the air that sweeps around me seems to coldly sigh<strong>_  
><em><strong>And to join us in our despair the heavens weep<strong>_  
><em><strong>As we wait on eternal sleep<strong>_

* * *

><p><strong>I hoped you liked it~ Thanks for reading!<strong>


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